What purpose does a memorial serve?

     When I first started Lewis County Monuments in 1991 I had no idea why we place gravestones on a grave plot.  Oh I knew that they had your loved ones information on them with some art work but I did not understand the real purpose.  As I have watched people visiting their loved ones final resting place over the past 23 years I have observed some things.
:  Many people talk to their loved one.
:  Many pray, often silent prayer.
:  Some sit on the ground and seem to meditate.
:  Often a finger or hand can be seen tracing the name on the stone.
:  Some are replacing flowers in a vase.
:  Some are gardening the flowers they planted before Memorial day.
:  Some are their to observe the birthday of their departed loved one.
:  Major holidays are often observed with a wreath or a fitting decoration being placed.
:  Tiny rocks are placed on top of the tomb stone or the base of the tomb stone to mark the visitation, also people will leave a
    penny to commemorate the visit .
:   Some will share a Beer and pour out one over the grave or leave an unopened can or bottle at the grave
:  Often a trinket or ceramic animal is placed on a child’s grave.
I’m sure the list is as long as there are people but these are the things that stick in my brain.  So WHY?  Why do we do these little things for someone who is gone?   My opinion is we are looking for healing.  My conclusion is that what we are “doing for” our departed loved one is really for our healing.  When we loose someone we find ourselves in pain.  I’m told the pain never completely goes away but that it subsides and we are better able to deal with it over time. The many things we do at the final resting place of our loved one are all a part of the path of healing that we need to walk down.  We hurt because we love. What we love and loose we grieve for.  It is natural.  Grieving is a part of loving.  So when you consider purchasing a memorial the main thing to consider is what will honor the memory of your loved one.  When pre-purchasing your own memorial it should reflect your life and speak of things that tell your story, or a message you want to tell the world. What ever your situation a grave stone is a tool for healing, let it work for you.
For North Country Memorials Inc.    Curt


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